Josie And The Pussycats

Everyone over 30 makes jokes about youff culture being brainwashed by commercial interests. Now they've made a movie about it.

Josie (Rachael Leigh Cook) and the Pussycats (Tara Reid, Rosario Dawson) are ordinary girls from Riverdale, who are discovered by Wyatt (Alan Cumming), a sleazy rock band manager, and groomed into becoming No 1 on the charts overnight.

Behind Wyatt is Fiona (Parker Posey), the arch-manipulatoress, who is in cahoots with government agents to control the minds of teenagers. They do this by adding subliminal messages onto the records.

The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle was into the same groove and that was bad enough. Comedies made by grown-ups for post Pokemon kids emulate the inanities of children's TV shows. The result is worse than being locked in a closet with Atomic Kitten's demo tapes.

Cumming is in danger of killing himself in America by taking parts like this. It's pure laziness, really. He can do pantomime villains in his sleep. What he needs is a decent script and a role that isn't camp.

The film is so full of product placement, you know there is no shame in Hollywood. At one point, the silliest girl says, "Diet Coke is the new Pepsi." That's called a two-for-one.

As well as being brain-dead, the plot is nasty. Wyatt's a murderer. When he's bored of a band, he takes it out. Literally.

Funny? You'll die.